


The Awakening

by SirAnducar



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 03:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13918761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirAnducar/pseuds/SirAnducar
Summary: MC awakes from a nightmare in which he played DDLC as a game. As he continues his life in the literature club he notices that almost everything happens like it did in his dream. Fearing that he might lose Sayori again, he tries to change things for the better.





	1. Day 1 (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to Alice for helping me understand Yuri's and Sayori's minds a little bit better.

"We all love you."

Yet again I read Sayori's parting words before closing the game and shutting down my PC. I sigh. How is it possible that this game still influences me that much? It's been several weeks and I must have played it at least fifteen times by now. Images of Sayori hanging in her room flash in my mind and my stomach knots up. This needs to stop! But I don't know what to do. I look at fanart of a happy Sayori, the only thing that eases my mind a little bit, before going to bed.

 

I open my eyes, just to see a big, cute face filling my vision. I cry out in surprise. "Uwaa--! Who...?!" She's so close to me I instinctively pull back and nearly fall out of my chair. She jumps back and giggles.

"Ehehe, sorry~ Wait! Actually, I'm not sorry at all! It's your fault for sleeping like that! This isn't the napping club!"

"S-Sayori?" I mumble, still trying to comprehend what just happened. "Of course!" she says. "Who else would I be?"

"But...". This must be a dream. I'm dreaming about the literature club. No wonder, this game has occupied my mind forever. It happened before. The only thing that's unusual is that I am aware of being in a dream.

I run my hand down the side of Sayori's face, expecting to feel nothing or phasing through her. But the sensation of her soft, warm skin feels almost too real.

"Eh? What are you doing?" Sayori asks, looking surprised. But I ignore her question. This has to be a dream! Sayori is not real! And as much I would like to spend time with her right now I feel like it would be better for me to wake up if I don't want to lose my mind completely. I take a deep breath and bite my tongue as hard as I can to wake me up.

 

"F*CK!"

I scream out in pain. That really hurt! I feel my mouth filling up with the taste of blood. But nothing has changed. Sayori is still standing in front of me. She looks at me with a shocked expression.

"MC! Why did you do that?". I look at her. "Wait... so this isn't a dream? You are real?" I ask her. "Of course I am real!" she answers. "MC, you really worry me right now. Is everything-- Ah!".

She doesn't get to finish that question. I pull her close to me and embrace her tightly. "Sayori..." I whisper, unable to form a complete sentence. I am just glad to have her with me right now, not dead.

"Did you have a nightmare?" she asks me. "Yes..." I answer quietly, making sure nobody else can hear me. "One where I had to see you die over and over again."

I am still a bit confused. That dream felt so real. I can still remember every single thing of the game. But I guess it doesn't matter. Sayori is alive and real.

"Everything is going to be alright, MC." she comforts me. "It was just a bad dream."

 

I slowly let her go. Still looking worried she asks, "Can you get nightmares from anime? You really should tone it down a little bit. That's why you fell asleep in the first place, isn't it? You stayed up late again, watching anime."

"Don't say that so loud..."! I glance over my shoulder to see if Monika overheard.

"It's true, though..."

"Yeah... I know, I know. You're always looking out for me Sayori."

"Ehehe~. It's what I do best!"

"...That's a problem! What about you?"

Suddenly I get a weird feeling of déjà vu. This conversation is exactly the same as in my dream. Aside from me freaking out and hugging Sayori everything today happened the exact same way. I swallow. What if it continues? What if the next days are going to be the same as well? What if Sayori-

I don't finish that thought. Mainly because I don't want to freak out again. I'll just have to see how it continues. But just to be sure, I try to be a little nicer to Sayori. She knows I don't mean it when I tease her. But if she really is depressed then a wrong word can screw up everything. I decide not to tease her about not having a boyfriend. Instead I try to let her know that it makes me happy caring about her.

 

"Okay, everyone! Why don't we share the poems we wrote now?"

Monika's voice fills the room. Everyone retrieves their poems and I do the same. Initially I have been anxious about this but right now I just want to know what the girls wrote. Will their poems be the same as in the game? Strangely enough, I remember every single word of them.

I start with Sayori. I couldn't find much inspiration by myself so I tried to think about her while writing my poem. So there might be a chance that she'll actually like it at least a little bit. Besides, I am way more comfortable sharing it with someone I have known for so long.

Sayori's eyes light up as she reads my poem. "...Oh my goodness! This is sooooo good, MC! I love it~! I had no idea you were such a good writer!"

Well, this is not the reaction I anticipated. And even though it's nice to see Sayori beam like that, I can't really be happy about it. Because once again, everything is the same. Every reaction of hers, every sentence she speaks... I've seen it all before in my dream. And surely enough, her poem is the same as well, every single word of it.

Seeing my worried expression Sayori asks me, "Don't you like it?" "Oh no, it's not that." I reassure her. "It's just... I didn't completely recover from my nightmare yet. But I really like your poem. It sounds just like you. Especially that last line..." I decide not to say anything about her writing it this morning. I just want to read the other poems.

 

With every poem I read my hope vanishes more. Yuri's and Natsuki's poems are the same as well. At least I can impress them a little bit by 'figuring out' their meaning. And while they don't like my poem as much as Sayori did, they didn't seem to hate it either. So I guess I didn't do too bad of a job. But at the moment I don't really care about that. There is still one poem I haven't read yet. And this one is the most important of them all.

Monika. Her poem was about her epiphany. She knew that she was trapped in a game and wrote about it. Through the 'hole in the wall' she looked at the player. And the player was looking at her. If she wrote the same poem that would mean that we're all trapped in a game. And even worse, she might tamper with the other girls' personalities again.

 

As I read Monika's poem it feels like someone is taking a massive weight off my heart. It's freeform, Monika's signature style, but it's not the same poem as in my dream. Instead it seems like she wrote about people seeing her as perfect and therefore unapproachable. It does make sense. After all I myself have seen her as way out of my league all the time. I am probably not the only one. I guess even if you're popular you can be pretty lonely.

I try to talk to Monika about her poem but she seems to be a little embarrassed to talk about it. It looks like I interpreted the poem right, but since we don't know each other that well yet, she doesn't want to go into detail. I guess I will talk to her about it again when we've become better friends.

 

I am relieved. We're not stuck inside a game and Monika doesn't mess with Sayori's mind. Everything is going to be all right. At least that's what I try to tell myself. But somehow I feel like it's not that easy. The Monika in my dream didn't create the other girl's problems, she just amplified them. I will have to watch out for them, especially for Sayori.

I almost casually break up the fight between Yuri and Natsuki. Even though we have only met yesterday I know exactly what to say to calm them down without hurting anyone. They even appear to be a bit happier after I talked to them. And with every minute I become more confident that I can turn everything around for the better.

As I walk home with Sayori I silently make a promise. I will do everything to help every one of the girls become happy. And I will start with the most important person in my life: my childhood friend Sayori.

 


	2. Day 2 (Part 1)

 The next morning I decide to wait for Sayori so we can walk to school together. She is late as usual so I walk over to her house. Since going inside and waking her up seems a bit much, I ring the bell and shout, "Wake up dummy! We're going to be late!"

I see a surprised face looking out of the kitchen window. At least she is already awake! Five minutes later Sayori comes running out of the door. There's a half eaten sandwich in her hand. Looks like I interrupted her breakfast.

"MC? What are you doing here?" she asks.

"Waiting for you, what else? Come on, we need to hurry!"

"But... you haven't waited for me in like forever."

"Well, you know~" I mumble. "I gotta admit, I kind of missed walking to school with you. And you always seemed to like it as well, so maybe it motivates you a little bit to get up on time."

I didn't lie. I really enjoy walking to school with Sayori. But of course that's not the only reason. I remember what Monika said on how to help depressed people: "And remind them that they always have something to look forward to." Maybe I can give that something to Sayori.

"Aww, you're so sweet." Sayori hugs me. "I promise I will try my best to get up on time."

"D- don't call me that!" I stammer, embarrassed. Sayori giggles.

We don't talk much on our way to school, mainly because Sayori is busy finishing her sandwich. But I can tell that me waiting for her made her happy. As happy as she can get, anyway...

 

I don't really pay attention to class. I'm only waiting for the school day to be over so I can spend time at the literature club. Aside from the fact that I want to be with Sayori I actually enjoy my time at the club. Who would have thought that I could ever get into literature? But writing poems and sharing them with everyone turns out to be a lot of fun.

As I walk into the club room Sayori greets me with a big smile.

"Hi MC~"

"Yo, Sayori. Looks like you're in a good mood today."

Sayori beams. "Of course I am! We walked to school together, we get to spend time in the club together~. Everything is so much fun!"

"Haha, I'm glad."

"Hey MC, I'm kinda hungry... Will you come with me to buy a snack?"

"Let me guess... you spent all your money and want me to buy you something?"

"Wha-?!" Sayori looks shocked. That totally took her by surprise. I almost feel a little bit bad. She looks away. "N-No!"

"Really? Then why don't we take a look at your purse?"

"Alright, I give up." Sayori starts pouting. "How did you know anyway?"

"I'll explain to you on the way."

"On the way? What do you~" Suddenly, her eyes light up. "Wait, you're gonna- you're still gonna buy me something?"

I grin. "Can't let my best friend starve to death, can I? Come on, let's go!"

"Aww, you're too nice to me!"

 

On the way to the nearest vending machine I explain to Sayori how I was able to tell she had no money. Of course I don't mention the game in my dream. But I'm pretty sure I would have been able to tell anyway.

"That's no fair." she complains. "You know me way too well."

I laugh. "I can read you like a book, Sayori."

"That still doesn't count as reading something for the literature club!" She sticks out her tongue at me. "But you know... It also works the other way round."

I look at her quizzically. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Sayori looks at me with a worried face. "MC... I know something is up with you. You can't hide it from me."

She looks down. "You have never been so nice to me before... I mean, it's not a bad thing. But it's not really you, you know? You've always liked to tease me about everything. Oversleeping, being hungry all the time..." Seeing my concerned face she quickly adds, "Don't worry, I know you don't mean it. But that's how I can tell that something is off. And it's not the only thing. I can tell something's on your mind."

Sayori turns towards me and looks into my eyes. "MC, I'm your best friend. Please tell me when something is bothering you. Your happiness is really important to me, you know?"

Crap. How do I get out of this? I can hardly tell her that I know she is depressed because I saw it in some dream. I need more clues, before I can confront her about that. Maybe I can tell her some half-truth. I don't really feel comfortable lying to her and she knows me well enough to be able to notice that anyway.

"Well, you know... the things I saw in my dream yesterday still kinda bum me out. But it made me realize how important you really are to me, Sayori. So I guess~ I just wanted to treat you like you deserve it."

"Aw, don't worry about me." Sayori smiles at me. "There are people who deserve it way more than me."

"No, Sayori. Not for me."

Sayori looks down, embarrassed. But I can also see a faint smile emerge on her face. I let out a relieved sigh. Looks like I'm not totally screwing up at making her day a little bit better.

 

We walk the rest of the way in silence. Once we are at the vending machine I buy Sayori a giant chocolate chip cookie. She immediately tears apart the wrapper and takes a big bite.

"Sho good... Thank you, MC!" Sayori hugs me. "Next time, I'm gonna buy _you_ a cookie!"

As we make our way to the classroom Sayori is already back to her cheerful self. She laughs and skips along the hallway. At the classroom door we meet Natsuki who quickly hides something behind her back.

"Hey Sayori!" she says with a big grin. "I got something for you! Guess what!"

Sayori looks surprised. "Ummmm~ A cupcake?"

"Close!" Natsuki reveals a giant cookie, just like the one I bought Sayori. "Tadaa!"

"Oh my god, Natsuki! That's so nice of you. But... I actually just had a big cookie some minutes ago."

"Oh..." Natsuki looks a bit disappointed. "Eh, it's fine. I'm just gonna eat it myself."

Sayori smiles. "Still, I'm really happy that you wanted to share it with me. You're all... so nice to me..." Suddenly, Sayori starts sobbing. "I don't deserve this~"

Well, if I had any doubt that Sayori struggles with the same demons as in my dream, it's gone now. I put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her.

"Sayori, you're our friend. Of course you deserve it."

Natsuki looks embarrassed. "Jeez, what's gotten into you? It's just a cookie..."

She says that, but I realize what it means for Natsuki to share food. At this point I just assume that all the girls have the same problems as in my dream. And if Natsuki doesn't get enough food herself, her buying a cookie for Sayori suddenly means so much more. I know her bossy attitude is just a mask but she must be really kind at heart.

Sayori smiles through her tears. "Sorry... I'm just a little emotional lately. Don't worry about me, okay?"

Natsuki looks at me with a questioning expression, but I just shrug my shoulders. There's no way I can tell Natsuki what I know. Sayori doesn't even want _me_ to know it.

"Alright, if you say so." Natsuki says. We walk inside.

 

"Eh? Monika is still not here?" Natsuki asks. "And I thought _we_ were gonna be late. Yuri do you know where she is?"

Yuri looks up from the book she was reading. "No, I haven't seen her. I was wondering where she was myself. Have any of you heard anything about her being late today?"

"Not me..." Sayori answers.

"Yeah, I haven't either."

The conversation continues the same way as I have seen it a hundred times. But as the topic comes to her having a boyfriend, I take the chance to talk to the others about her poem.

"I'm actually not so sure she has a boyfriend. I kinda got a lonely vibe off her poem yesterday."

"Eeeh? You think so?" Sayori asks. "But she is so popular! How can someone as popular as her be lonely?"

"I know what you mean, MC." Yuri says. "I've seen it in her poem as well. And sometimes the most prominent people struggle the most to find company."

"You guys read too much into it." Natsuki retorts. "I think she's just pissed that people expect her to be perfect all the time."

We don't get to continue the discussion as Monika comes rushing through the classroom door.

"Sorry! I'm super sorry! I didn't mean to be late..."

Again, the conversation is the same as in my dream. But talking about Monika playing piano makes my stomach knot up a bit. She seems to notice and asks me, "Do you not like piano, MC?"

"No, it's not that." I respond. "I think piano sounds beautiful. There's just this one song I have to think about when talking about it... I'd rather not go into detail. Let's just say there is a lot of bad memories attached to that song."

"Alright..." Monika smiles at me. "I'll make sure not to play it."

 

Shortly after everyone has settled down Sayori asks me to come with her to get supplies. As we are on our way out Monika offers to go with me instead. But as Sayori loves exploring classroom she wants to go herself.

"Hey Monika, why don't you just come along?" I suggest. "Sayori makes everything we do a little adventure. It might be fun."

Monika hesitates for a moment but then agrees. The three of us make our way to the next empty classroom. Sayori hums and skips along the hallway. Monika giggles as she watches Sayori. "She really is a bundle of sunshine, isn't she?" she asks me.

"Yep." I answer. "Always has been."

I smile to myself. Of course, I am used to her being cheerful. But it still makes me happy to see her like that. It has been a while since I went adventuring with Sayori like that but it has always been fun. It's a pretty nostalgic feeling for me.

"Hey guys, this classroom over here is empty!" Sayori calls us. "Let's begin the mission!"

"The mission?" Monika asks with a confused smile.

I smile at her. "I told you Sayori makes everything an adventure."

 

As we enter the classroom, Sayori and I head straight to the closet. Meanwhile, Monika searches the desks for anything useful. Sayori finds the crayons and looks for her favorite color. Remembering what happened in the game I wait patiently so she doesn't get hurt. However, she still drops a crayon and bends down to pick it up. But this time I am faster.

"Ugghhhh!" My hand gets caught between Sayori's head and the edge of the shelf. A sharp pain shoots through my hand. But I'd rather have my hand hurt than Sayori's head.

"Oof..." Sayori slowly realizes what happened. "Thank you, MC. You really saved my-" Her expression breaks.

"AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAH!" Sayori starts screaming and pointing at my hand. I look down. My whole hand is covered in blood. Looks like the shelf did more damage than I anticipated.

Monika comes running over. "Oh my god, what happened?" she asks with a worried expression. Sayori points at my hand with tears in her face, unable to speak.

"I just saved Sayori's head from looking like my hand." I respond. "Do you know if they keep some bandages around here?"

"Yeah, they do." Monika answers. "Wait here, I'll fetch you some." She hurries out of the classroom.

"I'm- I'm so sorry, MC..." Sayori sobs.

"Don't worry about it." I comfort her. "It's better to have my hand injured rather than your head."

Sayori smiles at me. "Thank you, MC." I smile back at her and we sit in silence for a moment, just looking at each other.

"Hey, MC... This kind of reminds you of growing up, doesn’t it...?" Sayori asks me.

"Eh? Well... I guess so." I respond. "You always had a habit of getting hurt, huh? Especially when we were playing outside."

"Yep." Sayori smiles. "And you'd always try to comfort me when I started crying. Like you'd think it was your fault that I got hurt. Even though it really wasn't..."

"Well... I guess it was in some kind of way. I never payed enough attention to you and you'd fall behind and get hurt because of that."

"MC... I don't think you realize it, but you're always thinking about other people. Even after all these years... You hurt your hand just to keep me from getting injured. You're really a sweetheart..."

"I think you're exaggerating a little bit, Sayori. Besides, you're not really any different, you know? You always care for the happiness of others. Even more than for your own. I think you're even more of a sweetheart than me."

Sayori blushes. "Well... helping others make friends and be happy is what makes  _me_ happy after all."

"I know... Still, please look out for yourself a little more. I'd hate for you to get hurt. Will you promise me that?"

"Alright, I promise." Sayori looks at me with a dreamy expression. "If it makes you happy, I'll promise you anything..."

 

After a short time, Monika comes back with an antiseptic and bandages. She kneels down in front of me and begins cleaning my wound. It burns, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

"See, Monika?" I say. "I didn't promise too much, did I?"

"Eh?" Monika looks at me confused.

"Doing stuff with Sayori  _always_ is an adventure!"

Sayori giggles. Monika looks at me with a smirk. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But maybe next time we can go on an adventure without one of us ending up bleeding."

"Don't worry." I joke. "There's about a 50% chance of no one getting seriously injured on our adventures." I show her a big grin. She starts laughing.

"See, you  _are_ having fun."

"Yeah..." she responds. "I guess I am. Asides from your injury it's really nice to do stuff with you guys."

"Well, if you'd like, we would be happy to take you along more often when we do stuff together." Sayori vigorously nods.

"I really would like that." Monika says with a smile. "Thank you, guys."

After Monika has finished applying my bandages, we get the rest of the supplies and make our way back to the classroom. I quietly smile to myself. Both of the girls look really joyful. I realize that in some way I am quite similar to Sayori. I really want everyone to be happy.


	3. Day 2 (Part 2)

Soon after Monika, Sayori and I have returned to the classroom, it's time to share poems. This time I actually have been looking forward to this. I wrote a poem just for Sayori. It's about how I will always be there for her, even in her darkest hours. Of course I kind of generalized it so the other girls wouldn't notice that I wrote it for her. I tried to make it sound bittersweet, just like Sayori likes it. And to be honest, I feel pretty comfortable with that style. Seems like Sayori and I are more similar than I thought.

Again, I show my poem to Sayori first. After reading it, she looks at me with a dreamy smile.

"MC... I really love your poems. I can't believe you've been hiding these from me."

"I'm not hiding anything from you, Sayori." I respond. "I have never written any poems before I joined this club."

"But... Your poems are sooo good... How are you so good at this if you have never done it before?"

"Well... I guess I'll be honest about it. It's a lot easier to write poems when I'm thinking about you."

"E-Eh?!" Sayori's face turns red. "Wawawa--!"

"Does this surprise you?" I ask. "You are the only exciting thing in my life! Somehow you make everything we do together an adventure. Those times are when I really feel alive. So yeah... I guess what I'm saying is that I can feel more feelings through you than I can through myself."

If Sayori's head could explode, it probably would do so right now. Not being able to look at me, she looks down to reread my poem. She slowly calms down and begins smiling.

"It's even more beautiful knowing that you thought about me while writing it..." she says quietly.

Sayori stares at the poem for a few more seconds, then looks up to me. "Hey, MC... Will you give me your poem? I kinda want to keep it."

"Sure. If you want it then I'll give it to you."

Sayori hugs my poem. "Thank you, MC. It's the first time you've written something for me..."

She is right this time. I really wrote this poem for her. But I still feel awkward hearing that from her.

"But I still need to show the poem to the others. So you will have to give it back to me for now. I will give it to you on our way home."

"Alright." Sayori hands me my poem.

"Anyway, I still haven't read your poem..."

"Oh! Sorry, I forgot about that~ But it's not as good as yours!!"

"Jeez, don't worry. I'm sure I'll like it."

Sayori hands me her poem. Sure enough, it's 'Bottles'. The first hint the game gave you at Sayori's depression. It's a really good poem, but knowing what it means I get a pit in my stomach. But now is not the right time to talk to her about it. I don't know if there ever will be a right time for that. But I know that I will have to do it anyway. Not now, but soon. Before it's too late...

 

After I have complimented Sayori for her poem, I show mine to Natsuki. As she reads it, she becomes more and more silent. Her hands shake a little and I notice a tear rolling down her face. At first I am surprised, but then I remember what she has to struggle with every day. I guess she really needs someone to be there for her as well.

"Do you like it?" I ask carefully.

"I..." Natsuki stutters. "Y- Yes. I like it..."

I didn't expect this. Natsuki admitted right away that she liked my poem. That's not something I'm used to from her. It really must have spoken to her.

"It's not exactly my favorite writing style." she continues. "But... I really liked the message behind it." She looks down. "I guess... even though you probably didn't write this for me... I really needed to hear something like that."

"I didn't write this for anyone specifically." I tell her. "So if you need someone to be there for you, I'll be glad to help."

Another tear rolls down Natsuki's face. "Th- Thank you..."

Suddenly she looks up, trying to control her expression. "A- Anyway, you still need to read my poem!" She shoves her poem towards me and looks away.

I read 'Amy Likes Spiders' and even though she says it's self-explanatory, Natsuki explains the whole thing to me anyway.

"Natsuki, is this about your manga?" I ask her.

"Eh?!" Natsuki looks shocked. "N-N-No!! It's about..." She tries to find an explanation for a few seconds, then lowers her head. "Yes..."

"Hey, don't worry, I'm not judging you. I read manga myself, you know? I know those kinds of people who judge you for that..."

"I hate them." she mumbles. "They make me feel so... insecure."

"Just ignore them. They don't know anything about manga. Or about you."

"Yeah, you're right..." Suddenly Natsuki shows me a big smile. "They don't know how awesome I am!"

I laugh. "You're the best." I'm not sure if she caught on my sarcastic tone. Since she didn't punch me yet, maybe she didn't. It's probably better that way.

 

As Yuri reads my poem, I see a faint smile emerge on her lips. But her overall expression makes it hard to tell if it's a happy or a sad smile.

"This poem has a very nice message, MC." she tells me. "Whomever you wrote it for must be a very fortunate person."

I laugh nervously. "Ahaha! I'm glad you like it, Yuri. But this poem really is for everyone. Also for you, if you need it."

Yuri looks away, embarrassed. But the smile on her lips doesn't disappear.

"I know, we have only known each other for a few days." I continue. "But if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be glad to listen."

"I- I..." she stammers, clearly not knowing how to respond. "T-Thank you... You're... really kind."

"So... any advice on my writing technique? Did I do a better job than yesterday?" I ask her, trying to change the topic.

Glad to have something to talk about she feels comfortable with, Yuri visibly relaxes. She collects her thoughts for a moment.

"Well... I usually would advice you to put more imagery into your poem. But as for this one, it might actually be harmful. I think a message such as yours should not be obscured by metaphors too much. Also, your general writing technique certainly did improve. I can tell that you felt way more comfortable writing this poem than last time."

"Yeah, that's true. Thanks, Yuri. Do you want to share your poem now?"

"Yeah... I do!"

After reading 'The Raccoon' I listen to Yuri's explanation. Of course I already know the meaning of it, but being able to interpret one of Yuri's poem perfectly might arouse suspicion. But suddenly, I realize that this poem might have another, much darker meaning. What if it actually is a metaphor for her habits of self-harm? But I can't just bring up something like this. Instead I decide to ask a more careful question.

"Could this poem also be about some kind of addiction?"

For a split second a glance of fear appears on Yuri's expression. But she catches herself just as quickly and responds "I suppose you could see it that way. But it's not what I was going for."

Yuri isn't telling me the truth. But to avoid making her more uncomfortable I change the subject.

"You know, Natsuki also wrote about something like that. About someone being ridiculed for a strange interest."

"Eh? She... she did?" Yuri looks surprised.

"Yeah... She was talking about how it doesn't matter what you're into as long as you're not hurting anybody."

"She- She's right! Ah- I mean... Does she really feel that way...?"

"Yeah. Sounds like you two have that in common..."

"That's... well, that's interesting... To me, she seemed like the kind of person who would make fun of my hobbies... But I suppose that's my fault for judging, isn't it...?" Yuri's expression suddenly breaks. "Ah- Please don't tell her I said that!"

"You know, I think you could be much better friends, if you just got to know each other a bit more." I say, seeing a chance to possibly end their senseless feud. "You might be more similar than you can imagine. Isn't it a bit silly to fight all the time, just because your writing styles are different?"

"I..." Yuri looks down. Her mind seems to be racing into all kinds of directions. After some time she slowly responds. "Perhaps you are right. But... neither of us will have the courage to take the first step towards reconciling."

"I don't think it's going to be that hard. I'm sure you two don't hate each other. You'll just have to take small steps. Why don't you start with finding another topic both of you can write about. It might be interesting to find more similarities between you. Just be constructive when criticizing each other."

Yuri looks at me hesitantly.

"You can tell her I suggested it." I say. "She might be a bit more open to the suggestion that way."

"Yes... I will." She finally relaxes a little and shows me a smile. "Thank you, MC."

 

Again, I approach Monika last. I am still a bit intimidated by her experience and passion for literature. But so far everyone liked my poem, so I guess I don't have to worry that much.

Monika greets me with a concerned expression. "Hey, MC! How is your hand doing?"

"It's fine. It stings every now and then but other than that I can mostly ignore it."

"I'm glad. But if it doesn't get better, please visit a doctor, okay?"

"I will. But I think it really looks worse than it is."

Monika smiles in relief. "Alright. So... how's the writing going?"

"Better than I expected. So far everyone seemed to like my poem."

"I knew you had it in you! Maybe soon you'll come up with a masterpiece."

"Ahaha, I wouldn't count on that..."

"You never know. Alright, let me see it!" Monika seems excited to read my poem. Maybe she wants to see what it takes to impress both Yuri and Natsuki at the same time.

I hand her my poem. After reading it, she smiles warmly.

"I can see why everyone liked it. It has a really nice message. I think everyone needs to hear something like that once in a while."

"What about you?" I ask her. "Do you need someone to be there for you?"

Somehow Monika's smile becomes even warmer. "MC, you might not realize it, but you have already done much more than I expected."

"Huh?" I am a bit surprised. "But I didn't really do anything."

"Yes, you did. Just including me in everyday activities and treating me like I'm just a friend like everyone else. That's more than I'm used to. It... doesn't happen very often, you know?" Her expression becomes a bit sad but she controls it very well.

"That's a surprise, Monika. You're so popular at school. Doesn't everyone want to include you in their activities?"

"In a way, yes. But they don't want to include me for who I am. They just see the popular girl everyone wants to be with." By now, Monika's smile has vanished completely. "Sometimes being popular can be a curse..."

"I can see that... Well, as I promised, we'll make sure to include you more often."

Her smile returns. "I'm really glad you joined the literature club, MC. Everyone seems to be a bit happier with you around. Thank you..."

I can feel my face turning red. "Come on, you're exaggerating."

"Ahaha, maybe. But I can at least tell you that _I_ am. Anyway, you want to read my poem now? I like the way this one turned out, so I hope you do too~"

"Alright, let's take a look."

I only catch a glance at the poem but it's enough to make my heart skip a beat. The title of the poem is 'Save Me'. The form of it is also identical to the one in my dream. I quickly grab it from Monika's hand. She looks a bit surprised, but doesn't say anything.

As I read the poem, I sigh in relief. The poem is different. It's pretty abstract, but I think I manage to read the same things out of it that Monika just told me. The thing or rather the people she wants to be saved from are the ones who don't like her for who she is.

As I hand the poem back to her, she looks at me with a sad smile. "You know... I like to keep my poems abstract. That way I can write about my feelings and still make sure not everyone knows about them. But I guess after our little heart-to-heart you know what this is about, don't you?"

I nod. She looks down. "As much as I hate being the popular one sometimes... I still want to show confidence. I don't want people to think that I've suddenly become weak."

"Monika, I don't think showing your true feelings is some kind of weakness." I tell her, trying to comfort her. "It takes a lot of courage to do so."

Monika shows me a weak smile. "Not everyone is as understanding as you, MC. Most of the people in our school would just turn away from me. And this club needs a strong president to grow. I can't allow myself to reveal my true feelings. Not yet..."

"Alright." I smile at her. "Then I will make sure that you at least have some real friends in us."

She smiles back. "Thank you..."

 

After everyone has finished sharing their poems, Monika calls us to the front of the classroom to talk about the festival. Sayori is excited to show off the posters she created. But neither Yuri nor Natsuki are very enthusiastic about the idea of performing in front of an audience. Even after Monika's and Sayori's little speech they remain silent. So I guess it's up to me to save the situation. But I decide to take a different approach than in my dream.

"I think Monika and Sayori are right." I say to Natsuki and Yuri. "Neither of you have to worry about anything. You both are really talented writers. I know you are scared that people may laugh at you. But if you perform your poems with the same emotions I saw in you when you showed them to me then I'm sure you will get the recognition you deserve. And it would really help Monika and Sayori. They have been trying really hard to get new members. I want to help them. Don't you?"

Sayori stares at me in awe. Monika also seems pleasantly surprised. And it seems as though Yuri and Natsuki are a little more relaxed.

"Uu... Alright..." Natsuki hesitantly agree. "If you are on board, then I am too."

I smile at her "Thank you, Natsuki. What about you, Yuri?"

"I- I..." Yuri barely manages to speak. "I will do it... For the sake of the club. And... for all of you..."

Sayori laughs. "Ahaha! That's everyone! You're the best, Yuri~"

Yuri stays silent. She seems to be focused on not freaking out.

Monika takes the opportunity to initiate the performance practice. As she stands behind the podium, I get a bit excited. I am going to hear those poems for the first time! They never were shown in the game.

The poem Monika performs is called 'The way they fly'. Again, it is very abstract. But I got to know her a lot better today and so I catch on hints what the poem is about. Monika seems to talk about how she never really fits in. About being way too popular to fit in with the reclusive people reading books all the time but also too nerdy to fit in with the sportive people.

Listening to it I'm getting a bit frustrated. Are people really that close-minded to only accept others into their groups that are exactly like them? I hope she will at least find a group of sincere friends with us.

Monika finishes and we applaud. Sayori begins to make her way to the podium but suddenly Yuri stands up. "I... I'll go next!"

Sayori is surprised. "Uwah! Yuri's fired up all of a sudden!"

Yuri stands behind the podium and hesitantly begins to recite her poem. But after a couple of lines a fire seems to awake in her. Her poem 'Afterimage of a Crimson Eye' is full of twists and turns in its structure that she enunciates with perfect timing. It's almost as if she's a completely different woman.

Her performance makes me experience the feeling she put into the poem myself a little bit. I can feel joy and euphoria but also a little bit of loneliness. And... fear? I try to find out what the poem is about but I've always had a hard time interpreting Yuri's poems. So I think of what I know about her and try to find something that seems fitting.

Suddenly I have a numbing idea. What if those are the feelings she gets from cutting herself? Joy and euphoria might be what she experiences through the cuts. She certainly fears that anyone might find out about it. And loneliness? Maybe she feels lonely because no one can understand her. To be honest, neither can I... But I will try my best to be supportive and not make it worse.

Suddenly, Yuri is finished. I planned to not get caught off guard this time but thinking about the meaning of her poem I spaced out a little. Still, I am the first one to start applauding. The others quickly join in as Yuri rushes back to her seat.

It's Sayori's turn. After her initial shyness she begins reading 'My Meadow'. As I expected it's another metaphor for her feelings. A beautiful meadow presenting happiness that slowly turns into a wasteland by plucking all the beautiful flowers.  
Suddenly I recognize some lines of her poem. Those are the lines she practiced her expressiveness with in my dream. She didn't do it today, probably because Monika tagged along. Thinking about it sends a shiver down my spine. I never payed too much attention to those few lines. To me, 'Bottles' always has been the first hint at her depression.

Even though Sayori doesn't put much force into her performance, it turns out really good. Somehow, it feels like her soft voice was made as a perfect match. After she finishes reading, we applaud.

"I did it~" Sayori says with a big smile on her face.

"Good job, Sayori." I compliment her.

She giggles. "Ehehe, even MC liked it. I guess that's a good sign~"

"Eh? But I've always liked your poems."

Sayori smiles, but doesn't say anything. Instead, Monika speaks up to give her advice about her expressiveness. Afterwards she turns to Natsuki. "Now who's next... ? Natsuki?"

I expect Natsuki to make me go first, but she doesn't say anything. She just stares at Monika hesitantly. Did I really touch her heart with my poem that much so she doesn't want to be mean to me? Now that's something new...

"Want me to go first?" I offer. Natsuki nods.

"Alright." I make my way to the podium. "But it's not like I have much of a selection of what to read... I'll just have to go with what I wrote for today."

I recite my poem. I'm not exactly confident in my writing, but I manage to convey the feelings I put into the poem for Sayori. Even though they all have read the poem already they really seem to be touched by it. As I finish, everyone applauds.

"That was really good, MC." Monika says. "Is this really your first time performing a poem?"

"Uh, yeah..." I respond. "It wasn't that good..."

"Oh come _on_!" Natsuki suddenly blurts out frustrated. "Why is everyone so good at this? How am I supposed to feel any confident when you are all so much better?"

Sayori looks at her with a worried look. "Natsuki..."

"Don't worry so much about it." I try to comfort Natsuki. "Your writing is not any worse than that of the others. And if you put the feelings you had when writing your poem into your performance, it will turn out great!"

"Ughh..." She hesitates for a moment. "Alright... I'm going."

Natsuki stands behind the podium and starts to read her poem 'Jump'. While she's still a little unenthused, she really tries to put her feelings into it. Combined with the rhythm of the poem it turns out to be a great performance.

But the feelings she put into the poem don't seem to be overly positive. She tries to hide it but I can hear some bitterness and sadness behind her words. The poem is about escaping one's problems. She wants to 'jump into a better world' as it says in her poem. I think she wrote this poem mostly to herself, to encourage herself to endure what her father seems to put her through.

Natsuki finishes and everyone applauds. She rushes back to her seat, but it seems a though my advice helped her a little bit. She's not a reluctant as usually.

 

Since Natsuki was the last one to present, Monika thanks us all for coming through. She also asks us to pick a poem for the festival and let her know in advance for her pamphlets.

"Hey Monika..." I ask hesitantly. "Do you think my poem is good enough for the festival? I know it's only the second one I wrote, but it kinda means a lot to me."

Saying that I sneak a glance at Sayori. She smiles dreamily.

"Ahaha!" Monika laughs. "Of course it's good enough! I think you worry a bit too much about your writing skills. You're doing just fine, really! And I'm really glad you're putting in all this effort for the club. It makes me really happy."

"Ah... Yeah, no problem..."

With that, Monika ends the club meeting. I stand up.

"Ready to go, Sayori?"

"Yep!"

Natsuki smiles. "Look at you two, always going home together like that."

"It's kind of adorable, isn't it?" Monika adds. Sayori giggles.

I get embarrassed. "Jeez, guys... Don't make such a big deal out of it."

Yuri flashes a weak smile. "It must be a little nice though..."

"Well... Yeah... it is." I admit.

Sayori smiles at me which embarrasses me even more.

"Come on, let's go, Sayori." I say quickly.

And with that, the two of us make our way home once more.


	4. Day 2 (Part 3)

I walk home with Sayori once more. Even though it's only been a few days, a lot of things have already changed. But today, Sayori is being a little quieter than usual on the way home. Knowing the reason why, it hurts me to see her like that. I decide it's time to act.

"Hey, Sayori..."

"…" Sayori looks up. "...Sorry! I was spacing out!"

"Sayori, there is something I would like to talk to you about. Do you mind if I come home with you?"

"Eh?" Sayori looks at me quizzically. "Sure, no problem, I guess. My room might be a bit messy though..."

I laugh. "So nothing has changed at all, huh?"

Sayori pouts a little. "Meanie... but you're right."

"Don't worry about it so much." I put a hand on her shoulder and smile at her. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

 

I follow Sayori home and upstairs into her room. As expected, it's as messy as it's always been. I also recognize the same stuffed animals and wall decorations that she's had for years now. We both sit down.

Sayori looks at me curiously. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

I take a deep breath. "I don't really know how to bring this up. To tell the truth, I'm kinda worried about you."

"Worried about me?" I make out a twinge of fear in her voice. Does she really want so badly for me to just not think about her? "Why?"

"Sayori, I've known you my whole life. You've always been the same and I thought I knew you through and through. But these last few days... Spending time with you in the club, reading your poems... I think I've learned more about you than in years."

Sayori looks really worried now. But I won't give her a chance to stop me from addressing this.

"I've gotten a lot of hints from you today that something is not right. Every time someone did something nice for you today, you acted like you didn't want them to. You even started crying when Natsuki brought you that cookie."

"I told you, I'm just a little emotional today." she says hastily.

"It's not just that."

"Eh?"

"Your poems! They showed me what's going on inside of you. Both of your poems today ended with nothing positive left in you. You're giving up everything for your friends and are left with nothing at all. I think... I think there's a lot more to you than the bundle of sunshine and happiness I've known all my life."

Sayori smiles at me. "You're reading into it too much, MC. Every now and then there is a little raincloud, but it's really not that big of a deal. And sometimes a sad poem can help give the raincloud a little hug...and make a nice happy rainbow! That's all there is to it. No need to worry!"

I hesitate for a moment. Sayori's explanation _does_ make sense. But on the other hand, if she really has depression she'd know for sure how to reassure anyone who worries too much. She was able to hide it from me my entire life, after all.

I can't take any chances. If I make a fool out of myself, then so be it. But if I don't act now and she turns out to be depressed after all, I could never forgive myself. And since there is no way she will admit it to me, I will have to confront her directly.

"Maybe you are right. Maybe this is all something I'm making up in my head." Sayori seems relieved. But I continue speaking. "But it all adds up. You oversleep every day. You don't clean your room, you don't care about your look. Your poems, your behavior. Not wanting me to worry about you..." I look deeply into her eyes as I speak those words. "Sayori, do you have depression?"

 

I will never forget the horrified expression Sayori has on her face after I ask this question. She looks at me with a mixture of desperation and unbridled fear. It hurts me seeing her like that, knowing it's me who causes her that much pain. But now there is no doubt about it anymore. Sayori is depressed. And the last thing she wanted is for me to find out...

After a second that felt like an eternity, Sayori gets hold of herself again and tries to smile. It's not very convincing...

"What? No! How would you get that idea? You really are silly sometimes... Ehehe~"

"Sayori..." I say calmly. "Your reaction already gave me the answer I needed. Please don't lie to me anymore." I take her hand to reassure her. "I'm your best friend. You know you can tell me everything."

Sayori's smile breaks. "I... No... I..." she stutters, unable to find words. Tears start rolling down her face as she starts sobbing uncontrollably. "No... No... No, no, no, no, no!"

I slowly put my arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. I know she won't hug me back, but I want her to have a shoulder to cry on. It's all I can do until she calms down a bit, so I don't say anything.

After some time, Sayori's sobs become quieter. She clutches her hands into my shirt as if she's trying to hold onto something. After she stopped sobbing she rests her head on my chest for a few more minutes before finally looking at me. Her eyes are still filled with tears and her face wears an incredibly pained expression.

"So I was right..." I ask carefully.

"Y-Yes..." Sayori says, still unable to control her voice.

I gently wipe some tears off her face with my thumb. "I know you didn't want me to find out, but I'm really glad I did. Now that I know, I will do everything I can to support you."

Sayori looks away. "You don't understand at all, MC. Why do you think I didn't tell you? Because if I told you, then you would have to waste effort caring about me instead of doing important things. I don't want to be cared about. It's bittersweet, when people try to care about me. It feels nice sometimes. But it also feels like a bat being swung against my head. Because I fully know how worthless I am. How could I be happy when other people put their energy and caring to waste by spending it on me?"

I take Sayori's hand again. "You're right that I don't understand... I don't understand your feelings at all, Sayori. But there's something you don't understand either."

She looks at me quizzically.

"No matter how you see things in your head right now, it's not what I see. When I look at you, the only thing I see is a genuinely kind girl that cares for her friends more than anything else. I see a girl that gave all of her bottles to her friends and didn't keep any for herself." She smiles for a second as I mention her poem. "And most importantly... I see a girl that deserves happiness more than anyone else. And I want to do everything I can to give her what she deserves."

Sayori stays silent for a minute and stares into nothing. Her mind seems to be racing so I don't want to interrupt her. But suddenly her face takes on a gloomy expression.

 

"How?"

I stare at Sayori confused. "What?"

She slowly looks at me. "How did you know?"

"Um..." Why is she asking me this? Didn't I tell her already? "Well, there's been a lot of things. The poems you wrote, your-"

"No!" Sayori interrupts me. "That can't be it. I'm sorry, but you've never been that observant. If you were, I would have blown my cover a hundred times already. We've spent so much time together in our lives and you never noticed a single thing."

My stomach knots up. I'm filled with a weird mixture of guilt and fear. I feel guilty that I didn't see the signs sooner. But most of all, I'm scared of having to reveal how I really know of her depression.

Sayori continues speaking with a firm expression. I can't make out any emotion on her face. For some reason it's really unsettling.

"Somebody must have found out and told you... Was it Monika? Or Yuri? She is so smart, she~"

"Nobody told me, Sayori." I interrupt her. "I'm the only one that knows."

"Then how?!" She almost screams at me. Her voice is filled with desperation and her eyes start filling with tears again. "Please, just tell me! Don't lie to me anymore... Please..."

I look down. There is no use hiding the truth anymore. Sayori know me too well, she would find out immediately. And I really don't want to lie to her anymore.

"Alright... I will tell you. You might not believe me, but I assure you~ Everything I will tell you now is nothing but the truth."

I take a deep breath. "You remember the dream I told you about?" Sayori nods, looking a bit confused.

"This dream took place in the literature club." I continue. "Well, kind of... our club was a video game. A game that I played over and over. I remember every single detail. And everything that has happened in the game... has happened in our lives so far."

I tell her everything. About how the game starts as a dating simulator but turns into something horrifying after some hours. How the protagonist finds out about her depression. How Monika became sentient and messed with the other girls' minds. I don't go into detail about the other girl's problems and I try to not make Monika sound bad, since I don't want Sayori to be scared of her. And I tell her, how I found her hanging in her bedroom.

"And no matter how often I played the game, I couldn't save you." Just saying that makes my stomach knot up. "I accepted your confession. I rejected your confession. I spent all my time with you or no time at all. And everything in between. It didn't change anything..."

Sayori stares at me in disbelief. But no matter how little she believes me she seems to sense my sadness and feel bad for me.

"If it had been just a dream, I could've gotten over it after a while... But everything that happened after you woke me up yesterday was the same as in my dream. Even the poems were the same. There is just one exception... Monika's poems are different. She didn't have any epiphany about being in a game, so she didn't write about it."

I look down. "The only difference to my dream is that we are not in a game. If I screw up, there will be no going back. When I realized that, I knew I had to change something. That's why I bought you a snack, took Monika along on our adventure and wrote this poem for you. And that's why I decided to confront you about your depression today. Because I couldn't allow myself to wait until it's too late."

Sayori doesn't respond. I slowly look up and meet her eyes. "I really care about you, Sayori. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you."

 

"MC~" Sayori says slowly. "You do realize how crazy this sounds?"

"Yeah... I know..." I say hesitantly.

"But... for some reason I don't think you're lying to me." She takes a deep breath and sighs. "I usually know when you don't tell me the truth. But you sounded completely honest when telling this crazy story... And if you wanted to lie to me you could have come up with something better for sure."

She looks down. "Besides, you really seem to know everything about me. Even about my feelings towards you..."

"Sayori~" I don't know what to say to her. Tears start running down her face.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." she sobs. "I didn't want you to know how I feel. I... I just want everything to be the same as it always has been."

I take Sayori's hand. "Sayori." I say calmly. "I know you don't feel that way, but I'm really glad I know about this. I want you to be happy! And now that I know about your true feelings, I will do everything I can to make every day a little better for you."

"MC... I don't~"

"Sayori, caring about you is something that makes me happy." I interrupt her. "And you deserve to be happy, too. More than anyone else!"

"I... But..." she stutters. I take her other hand and look deep into her eyes. "I promise to do everything it needs to make you happy. It's everything I want!"

Sayori looks away. "You can't promise that..."

"Why not?" I ask her.

"Because..." She looks down. "I could never be happy without... without you. And no matter how much you care about me... There is no way you could ever love someone like me."

Sayori looks at me with tears filling her eyes. Her voice shakes. "But I guess we could as well get it over with. At least I will know it for certain then. So please... Just tell me! Tell me how you feel about me!"

She almost screams that last sentence at me. Does she really think that badly about herself?

"Sayori, I am really scared to tell you anything." I tell her. "In my dream, no matter how I responded to your confession, it would end the same way."

Thinking back to it, I am overwhelmed with emotion. Tears fill my eyes. "I don't want to lose you! I could never in my life get happy again!"

Sayori doesn't respond. She just keeps looking at me with an incredibly pained expression. It must really hurt her to see me like this.

I force myself to continue speaking. "But I guess there's no point in not telling you either. If anything, it's probably going to hurt you more. So... I'm going to tell you."

Sayori squints her eyes. Her expression looks incredibly stressed, as if she's preparing for an incredible amount of pain.

 

"I love you."

"What?" Sayori opens her eyes and stares at me in disbelief. "Come on, be honest..."

"I am. Those are my true feelings. I should have realized it sooner. I think~ I think I took you for granted. And I'm sorry for that. But the dream I had opened my eyes. It helped me realize that you are truly the most important person to me."

I hold her hands tightly and look deeply into her eyes. "Sayori, I want to be with you!"

Sayori's hands are shaking. She seems to be trying to comprehend what I just told her. But instead of falling into my arms like I expected, she looks down. "I... I can't..."

"Sayori?"

"I can't do this to you. I would just weigh you down... I can tell how much it hurts you seeing me like this."

"Sayori, I..."

She starts crying again. "How could I do that to you? How could I make you feel this every day? I don't want to hurt you... I-"

"Sayori!" I interrupt her loudly. "You are right that it hurts me to see you like this. Because I love you! And that's why I want to do everything to make you happy. That's why I'll accept any of your burdens. As long as I can be by your side every day. Then I know we'll both be happy."

"MC..." Suddenly, Sayori wraps her arms tightly around me. "MC... Is this... really okay?"

"Yeah." I hold Sayori in my arms and pull her closer. "You'll never have to let go of me again."

"I love you, MC... I want to be with you forever."

"Me too."

"…" I feel Sayori's grip around me weaken a little bit. "What is this...?"

I get a pit in my stomach. Does this really happen again? Can I not make her happy after all?

"Sayori...?"

"I barely feel any better. I always thought this would be the happiest moment for me. But why...? Even now... Why won't the rainclouds go away?"

I feel a bit of relief. This doesn't sound good, but it's a slight improvement to what happened in the game. She said she 'barely' felt any better. This must mean, it's at least a little better, right? It's the only hope I have for now...

"It's okay, Sayori..." I reassure her. "It might take some time for things to get better again. But no matter how long it takes, I'll be there every step of the way. Just... please promise me one thing."

"Huh?"

"Please don't hide from me anymore. As long as we are alone, always show me your true feelings. When you feel sad, don't force a smile. When you need to cry, cry in my arms. I want you to be your true self around me. And when there is something I can do, that will make you feel better... Please tell me."

Sayori hugs me tighter. "I.. I will. I promise..."

 

Sayori and I hold each other for a few more minutes. But the whole time my mind is racing. What if this still is not enough to save her? What more can I do? I decide there is one more thing I will have to do.

"Hey, Sayori? Would you do me a favor?" I ask her as we slowly release each other.

She looks at me quizzically. "Um, sure. What is it?"

"Will you stay at my place for a few nights?"

Sayori looks flustered. "Wha-?"

"I am too scared to leave you alone." I explain. "I want to make sure you're okay. And I don't want to leave you with your demons at night. It's just until I can be sure I won't lose you if I leave you alone..."

"Oh..." Sayori relaxes. "Okay, sure."

"Thanks, Sayori."

She smiles. "It's super cute that you worry about me so much."

I can feel my face turning red. Sayori giggles. "Just let me get some clothes and we can go."

As we make our way to my house, it's already dark. Sayori yawns and holds onto my arm. But we still have something to do.

"I know you're tired." I say. "But we still have to write poems."

"Ugh..." Sayori grumbles. "Wanna sleep..."

"I know... But it's better than rushing them in the morning. And we'd need to get up earlier."

"I hate when you're right..." she complains.

"You know... I think I still have some cookies at home." Sayori's eyes suddenly light up. "You can have them as a refreshment for writing."

"Cookies!" Sayori wraps her arms around me, jumping up and down. I laugh.

We reach my house and start writing on our poems. Sayori happily chomps her cookies while doing so. I can't come up with a nice message for my poem, so I just write about the feelings that went through me today. I remember Sayori using rainclouds as a metaphor for sadness, so I compare all my feelings to different kinds of weather. The poem turns out to be bittersweet again, even though I didn't really aim for it this time. Seems like Sayori's style really comes to me naturally. I end my poem full of hope for the future – _our_ future.

As we get into bed, Sayori cuddles up to me and I hold her in my arms.

"Sayori?" I ask.

"Hm?"

"Do you... do you at least feel a little happy?"

She stays silent for a few seconds. "I... think so. I don't know... I feel _something_. And it feels kinda good... But I don't really know what it is..." She buries her face in my arms. "I think I have forgotten what happiness feels like."

"Don't worry..." I reassure her. "If you feel anything good, that'll be enough for now."

I hold her closer. "I will teach you to feel happiness again."

Before we fall asleep, I whisper those last words:

"I promise."


	5. Day 3 (Part 1)

I'm the first to wake up. Sayori still is sound asleep next to me. The sight of her sleeping so calmly warms my heart. This must be one of the few rare times she truly is at peace. I don't want to wake her yet, so I carefully get out of bed and make my way into the kitchen.

There is not much left in my fridge, but I want to prepare Sayori a nice breakfast. I fry some eggs and make ham and cheese sandwiches on the side. After I'm done I go to wake up Sayori.

I gently shake her shoulder. "Time to wake up, Sayori!"

She buries her face in her pillow. "Lemme sleep..."

"I can't just let you keep oversleeping. Come on!"

Sayori looks at me with sleepy eyes. "Five more minutes..."

I sigh and sit down beside her. "I already made breakfast, so you could sleep longer. Do you want the eggs to get cold?"

"Rrgh!" Sayori grunts, but slowly sits up. I smile at her. Suddenly, she grabs my face and blows a kiss on my lips. My heart starts pounding like mad. Sayori takes advantage of my perplexity to wrap her arms around me and pull me into bed. She giggles as she snuggles up to me.

"That's unfair and you know it!" I say. "You know I couldn't resist you..." I reluctantly put my arms around her.

"I can hear your heartbeat." Sayori whispers.

"Ehehe, well..."

"It's going really fast."

"Well... It's the first time you kissed me after all."

"So you really did mean it..."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You really _do_ love me."

I wince at her words. "O-of course I do." I hold her closer. "Did you really doubt it?"

"Well... You _did_ sound sincere back then. But I thought you just did it out of pity or something."

The hopeless sound in her voice feels like a spear going through my heart. "No, Sayori. I really do love you. Please believe me."

"It's... it's just very hard to imagine."

"What? That I love you?"

"That _anyone_ could ever love me."

Tears start filling my eyes as I hear her words. When did I get so emotional? Her pain really seems to get to me. I shake it off. I have to be strong for her. Seeing me in pain would only make her's worse.

I hold her tightly. "I love you, Sayori. I really do. And nothing will ever change that."

Sayori hugs me tighter as well. We stay like this for a moment. "I-" she says hesitantly. "I believe you." She looks up into my eyes and I smile at her. I can still see some doubt in her eyes but she smiles back.

"I'd love to stay like this with you all day, but we really need to get up." I say. "Come on, breakfast is waiting."

She pouts. "Alright, fine..."

I kiss her one more time before we get out of bed and go downstairs to have breakfast.

 

With each bite Sayori's expression gets a little brighter. The eggs are already cold, but she doesn't seem to mind. I wonder what it is about food that she likes so much.

"Hey, Sayori?"

"Yesh?" she says, mouth still full.

"How come food always puts you in a good mood? Are you really always that hungry?"

She swallows her food. "No. To be honest I don't really understand it myself. I often really don't feel like eating at all. But when I do, it gives me some kind of warm feeling inside. It helps me get through my days..."

I reach across the table and take her hand. "Now you've got something else to help you through the day as well." I say, smiling at her. But the whole time my mind is racing. Now that she shows me her real feelings, I can see the full extend of her depression. My support may be helpful, but it won't be enough. I probably can't save her on my own. But it was hard enough for her to open up to me. She won't do the same with any of the other girls. That leaves only one choice...

"Say... did you ever talk to a therapist?"

My words make her flinch. I almost feel bad for bringing it up.

"N-No..." Sayori has a hard time keeping her voice steady. "I~ I could never... I'm already a burden to my friends. I don't want to add anyone else to the list..."

I hold her hand more tightly. "First of all, you are not a burden to anyone!" She looks away with a pained expression. "And it's a therapist's job to help you. How could you be a burden to him, if you make him money?"

Sayori hesitates. I take her other hand as well. "Sayori, I will do everything to make you happy. I will support you every single day. But I fear it won't be enough. I still don't fully understand your feelings. So I need help..." I take a deep breath. " _We_ need help."

Sayori looks at me. The pain on her face has faded but she still looks worried. "Maybe you're right... But, I don't know if I could tell a therapist anything about me..."

I smile to reassure her. "Let's try making you one appointment. If you don't like it we can stop after that. Okay?" She nods.

"Actually, I have an idea to make it a bit easier for you." I say. "I will make the appointment for you. They will ask me why you will come and I will tell them what I know. That way you won't have to make that first step."

"Can~ can you come with me?"

"I'm not sure if they will let me. But I will ask."

Sayori holds tightly onto my hands. "Thank you..." she whispers.

 

After breakfast I search the web for a nearby therapist. We might be late to school, but this is more important! I find one close to our school and make an appointment for Sayori.

"Alright, I got you an appointment for Tuesday, the day after the festival." I tell her. "Unfortunately it's during the club meeting, but it's only a few meters from school, so we'll be there in no time."

"Aw... Can you at least come with me?"

"I'm sorry, the therapist said it would be best to have your first appointment alone. But I will bring you there and pick you up afterwards. And if you decide to continue with the sessions I can come with you."

Sayori looks disappointed, but she doesn't protest. I lay my arm around her. "Everything will be fine." She shows me a weak smile. "Alright, we really need to get ready for school now." I kiss her forehead before letting her go. "Let's go!"

We quickly change into our school uniforms and make our way to school. As soon as we are outside, Sayori is back to her cheerful self. Even though I never admitted it, I always loved her bright smile. But now it hurts me to see it, knowing what's behind her mask.

"So, what do you want to do in the club today?" I ask her. "Do you still have something to prepare for the festival?"

"No, nothing." she responds. "The posters are done and we will prepare everything else on the weekend."

"Okay, then I have an idea. Remember the book Yuri gave me? How about we read it with her? She always reads by herself, maybe she'd like some company."

"Good idea!" Sayori beams, but suddenly hesitates. "Um... is it a scary book?"

"Um... I'm not sure. The cover text didn't reveal much."

"I don't like scary." She holds onto my arm. "And I know Yuri likes scary books..."

"We can just ask her later. And if you don't like it, we can stop."

"Okay!" Sayori smiles again. I really can't tell how much of her smile is sincere. But that's something I will have to get used to as long as we are not alone.

 

As soon as the school day is over I rush to the club room. During class, I developed a little plan to help Yuri and Natsuki on their way to become friends. But I need to talk to one of them first. I stop before the club room and calmly walk inside to not arouse any suspicion. Inside I find Yuri, her face already buried in a book. I feel bad for interrupting her, but I have to.

"Hi Yuri!"

Yuri looks up from her book. "Oh, hello MC. You're quite early."

"Yeah, um..." I look for an excuse. "My last period ended a little earlier."

"Oh, okay."

Yuri looks down again to continue reading, but I still have to ask her my question. "So, did you suggest my idea to Natsuki? To write about the same topic?"

"Yes. She actually seemed to like the idea. I don't know if it was for the idea itself or because you suggested it. Anyway, we picked a topic to write about."

"That's great!" Now I just need to make sure that they don't kill each other when discussing their poems. That's what my plan is for. But it all depends on Monika so I will have to talk to her as well.

"What topic did you pick?"

Yuri smiles. "I think it'd be more fun to keep it a surprise."

"Aw, alright." I fake a disappointed voice. After all, I already know the topic.

Soon, Natsuki and Sayori join us in the club room. Sayori looks surprised as she sees me.

"MC, you're already here? You've always been the last to come in."

Natsuki grins. "Looks like you care about the club after all!".

"Don't be mean, Natsuki!" Sayori says. "Of course he cares about the club!"

"I know, I know." Natsuki responds. "I still need to tease him a bit. He knows I don't mean it."

"Do I now?" I ask. "What if you ended up just scaring me away?"

"That's—um... It's not like you would actually do that."

"Yeah, you're right. It's kind of fun to hang out here, even if I have to put up with you."

Natsuki tries to hit my stomach with her elbow, but I'm faster. I take a step to the side. The momentum of her attack makes her stumble. Before she falls, I catch her.

"Now, now, don't get ahead of yourself!"

Sayori looks worried. "Please don't fight, guys..."

I smile reassuringly. "Don't worry Sayori, we're just joking around."

"Ugh... nice reflexes." Natsuki says, getting onto her feet again. I won't tell her that I knew she was going to attack me. Maybe the next time it's not in the game script and I won't be that fast. Better leave her thinking my reflexes are faster than her's.

Suddenly, Monika comes running through the door. "Aw, man... I'm the last one here again."

"Were you practicing piano again?" Yuri asks.

"Yeah... Ahaha..." Monika laughs nervously.

Yuri smiles dreamily. "You must have a lot of determination. Starting this club and now picking up piano..."

"Well, maybe not determination... But I guess passion. Remember that the club wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you. And I'm super happy that you're all willing to help out for the festival, too!"

Sayori beams. "The festival is gonna be so great!"

Surprisingly, Natsuki agrees. "Yeah, I can't wait!"

"Eh?" Monika looks surprised as well. "Weren't you complaining about it just yesterday, Natsuki?"

"Well, yeah. I'm not talking about _our_ part of the festival. But it's a whole day of school where we get to play and eat all kinds of delicious food!"

"You sound a bit like Sayori all of a sudden..." I say.

"I'm hungry..." Sayori mutters. Everyone starts laughing.

"Okay, everyone!" Monika calls out, still chuckling. "I think it's time to start our activities. We will plan the preparations for the festival after sharing poems."

The group disbands. I reassure Sayori that I will be with her in a minute. I then approach Monika, who is shuffling through some papers at her desk.

She greets me with a smile. "MC! What's up?"

"Hey, Monika." I say timidly. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor later."

"Of course! What is it?"

"Well, you see, yesterday I suggested to Yuri to pick a topic with Natsuki they both could write about. I thought it might help them be better friends. And I just asked Yuri, they actually did it."

"Wow, that's a wonderful idea, MC! But how can I help with that?"

"Well, I would like to prevent them from fighting again. So I thought we could share our poems with everyone at the same time. If we have a chance to interfere a little bit, they might not kill each other. But since you're the president, you'll have to be the one to suggest that."

"I see..." Monika hesitates for a moment, but then smiles at me. "Okay, I will think of something!"

I smile back. "Thanks, Monika."

 

I return to Sayori. "Ready?"

She smiles. "Yep!" We retrieve Yuri's book from my bag. I glance over to her. She seems to look at us with a hopeful expression. But as soon as she meets my eyes she buries her face in her book.

I approach her together with Sayori. "Hey Yuri, we were going to read the book you gave to me. Mind if we sit next to you?"

"Ah...! Of course, go ahead..."

"Are you sure? You seem a little apprehensive..."

"That's..." Yuri looks down. "I'm sorry... It's not that I don't want you to! It's just something I'm not very used to... That is, reading in company with someone."

"I see... Well, just tell us if we end up distracting you or anything."

"A-Alright... "

"Um, Yuri?" Sayori asks shyly. "What is the book about? Is it scary?"

"Oh, um..." Yuri thinks for a moment. "I don't think it is scary. It can be very emotional though. And it has a lot of psychological elements, playing tricks on your mind."

Yuri closes her own book and scans her eyes over the back. I notice it's the same book she lent to me. It is titled "Portrait of Markov". There's an ominous-looking eye symbol on the front cover.

"Alright..." Yuri says. "I just wanted to make sure I don't accidentally give anything away. Basically, it's about this girl in high school who moves in with her long-lost younger sister... But as soon as she does so, her life gets really strange. She gets targeted by these people who escaped from a human experiment prison... And while her life is in danger, she needs to desperately choose who to trust. No matter what she does, she ends up destroying most of her relationships and her life starts to fall apart... "

With every one of Yuri's sentences, Sayori's expression becomes more and more worried. "That sounds scary!" she whimpers.

"Yeah, that's really kind of dark..." I say. "But I think we should at least try it."

"Y-You don't have to!" Yuri says hastily.

"N-No, I want to try it as well." Sayori agrees with me. I can't help but wonder if she only does it to make Yuri happy.

We slide a desk up against the one next to Yuri and sit down. I open the book and we begin the prologue. I soon understand what Yuri means about reading in company. I can feel Sayori next to me as well as the presence of Yuri. It's not a particularly bad thing. Maybe a little distracting, but the feeling is somewhat comforting. Yuri is in the corner of my eye. I realize that she's not actually looking at her own book. I glance over. It looks like she's reading from my book instead--

"S-Sorry!" she apologizes hastily. "I was just--!"

"You wanted to see our reactions, right?" I say, trying to give her an excuse. "I'm always eager to see people react to things I like."

"Uh, yeah!" she responds, sounding relieved.

"We should all read together!" Sayori says cheerfully.

"It could be very hard to read from one book with three people..." I remark. "But I might have an idea."

I stand up and slide my desk until it's up against Yuri's. The girls look at me confused. I sit down and gesture Sayori to come over. As she does I take her hand and sit her down on my lap. She seems surprised, but she doesn't protest. Yuri's expression is a bit curious as well.

"Okay." I say. "Now you two can hold the book and we will all be able to read from it at the same time."

Yuri takes her left arm and holds the left side of the book between her thumb and forefinger. Sayori does the same with her right arm, on the right side of the book. We all continue reading.

But I have a harder time concentrating on the book than before. Being that close to Sayori is really distracting. I feel the warmth of her body against my skin. Before I know it, my heart starts pounding and I stare at her absentminded face. A warm feeling fills my body. How is it possible that I never noticed her beauty all these years? I never want to let her go...

"Eh? What does that word mean?" Suddenly, Sayori's voice snaps me back into reality. She is pointing at a word near the bottom of the page. I feel a moment of panic. The girls have read way further than me already. I quickly try catching up while Yuri explains the word to Sayori.

"That one? Oh, 'retribution' is a punishment for a crime someone has committed. It's usually not a punishment by authorities, but rather some kind of vengeance."

Sayori stares at Yuri with big eyes. "Wow, you're so smart Yuri!"

Yuri looks away, clearly flustered. "Oh... it's nothing. Are you ready to turn the page?"

Crap-- I'm still not at the end of the page. "Ah...sorry! I think I got a bit distracted for a second..."

"Ah... That's okay. You're not as used to reading, right? I don't mind being patient if it takes you a bit longer... It's probably the least I can do... Since you've been so patient with me..."

"Y-Yeah... Thanks."

We continue reading. Sayori is really invested in the book, making a lot of remarks about the events unfolding. She feels with the characters, getting sad when harm is inflicted on them and flinching when something unexpected happens. Yuri clearly seems to enjoy her reactions. Every now and then Sayori asks for a word and Yuri is happy to explain it.

By their remarks I can determine how far they are on the page. I assumed Yuri would be faster than me, but Sayori is as well. After a while they no longer ask me if I'm ready to turn the page. Instead I just turn it by my own volition.

The main character reminds me of Yuri a lot. I'm unsure if I should bring it up, knowing that she is self-conscious about it. But I decide to do it anyway. I just need to choose my wording a little more carefully.

"Hey, Yuri... This might be a silly thought, but... The main character kind of reminds me of you a little bit."

"You...think so?" Yuri responds. "How does she?"

"Well, I guess she's more blunt in a lot of ways... But she also is very careful about the things she says and does. Like she's afraid she'll hurt someone... It's not like I can see into your head or anything... But they're kind of reminiscent of some of your mannerisms."

"I-I see..." Yuri remains silent for a moment. "Is... Is that a good thing?"

"Well, considering the feelings of others makes you very considerate. So yeah, I'd say it's a good thing!"

Yuri seem relieved. "O-Okay..."

"I think it's cute." Sayori says cheerfully. Thanks, Sayori! I think that as well, but I couldn't really call another girl cute in front of my girlfriend.

Yuri blushes, but she doesn't seem as flustered as in the game. It's probably different when another girl calls her cute instead of a guy.


End file.
